


Everybody knows how to raise children (except the people who have them)

by ListeningBoy



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Children, Established Relationship, M/M, Parenthood, but not like on screen bc i don't write children well
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-28
Updated: 2019-02-28
Packaged: 2019-11-06 19:45:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17945954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ListeningBoy/pseuds/ListeningBoy
Summary: "Gavin," Nines said quietly, voice calm but tense, "What the hell happened while I was gone.""Hey, babe. Mind giving me a hand here?" Gavin smiled, trying to affect an air of casualness. The effect was dampened considerably when one remembered that the man was currently sitting in the middle of the living room, tied to a chair with jump rope, and had several stickers peppered around his face.





	Everybody knows how to raise children (except the people who have them)

"Gavin," Nines said quietly, voice calm but tense, "What the hell happened while I was gone."

"Hey, babe. Mind giving me a hand here?" Gavin smiled, trying to affect an air of casualness. The effect was dampened considerably when one remembered that the man was currently sitting in the middle of the living room, tied to a chair with jump rope, and had several stickers peppered around his face.

Frowning, Nines circled the chair, finding a tangle of knots in the back. Though they weren't especially nice to look at, they were well tied, and it would take several minutes to get them apart. Nines set to work.

Although his husband hadn't pressed, Gavin felt compelled to answer the question that had been posed after a few seconds had passed in silence. "So, y'know how last week Chrissie had us help her with her project on the French Revolution? Apparently she really took it to heart. The kids were asking for ice cream, and when I told 'em we were out she proposed they overthrow our dictatorship and scavenge for snacks."

Nines winced. "I did think the topic was a bit too advanced for her age group. It's possible she was planning this." The human hummed in agreement. "At least there are no sweets in the house right now. I wasn't planning to go shopping until the weekend."

"Well..."

"Gavin..."

"I  _ may _ have a secret Oreo stash that I hid from you. And Stacy  _ may _ have found it last time we played hide and seek. And they  _ may _ have decided to have a cookie feast."

"How many cookies are we talking about here?" Nines did the math in his head. Four kids whose sugar intake was usually controlled plus unhindered cookie access... The results were not looking good.

"I don't know, like three or four..."

"Each?"

"...boxes."

A sharper than necessary tug on the rope pulled a cry from the human. "And where, pray tell, are our sugar high children now?"

"Oh, yeah, I was getting to that!" He exclaimed cheerfully. "Did you know Tim and Jim's reading levels are way advanced? Apparently they've been reading each other your boring political books before bed. You'll be happy to know they've decided to rule through democracy. Stacy is president."

"My books are not  _ boring _ \- and that doesn't tell me where they actually are right now!" Nines roughly pulled out the last of the knots, releasing Gavin from the trap of rope. In the same moment, they both heard a loud  _ crash _ from the ceiling, followed by a mess of giggles.

"Uh, that sounded like it came from our room..."

"Shit."

**Author's Note:**

> Main Tumblr: http://listeningboy.tumblr.com  
> DBH Tumblr: http://gavinisqueerdbh.tumblr.com  
> PillowFort: https://www.pillowfort.io/ListeningBoy
> 
> Original Works: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LOTW


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